I sometimes forget that I am not as unique as I once thought. Learning to adapt to any and all situations was the norm when I was actively using. To become one with my inner being in sobriety was a completely different task. While living under the influence of cocaine and other mind- and mood-altering substances, my best reasoning led me to a life of hopeless and unfulfilled desires. My purpose and aim in life was set on destruction of self (and whomever else I could drag along with me).
Life had no meaning before I began to realize that we all have a place in the society we share with all God’s creatures. Coming into Cocaine Anonymous I found the relief that my mind, body and soul had been seeking throughout my existence. This Fellowship has taught me how to first like myself in hopes that someday I will learn to love and forgive myself. I am constantly reminded that my tolerance of others begins with my tolerance of self.
To be at peace brings the freedom of not having to decide where I belong. Just knowing that I belong is sufficient today for me and for my Higher Power. For it is by God’s grace and mercy that I was saved from these fates, I have no right to allow any type of prejudice, envy or insecurity to prohibit me from carrying the message to those who still suffer. It’s more important to help save someone’s life than to allow my own perceptions to destroy both our lives.
If the forefathers of our Fellowship did not seek the counsel of a Higher Power to inspire the Steps and Traditions, where would this Fellowship be? With peace comes spirituality. It is the spirituality of the Twelve Steps and the Twelve Traditions that govern my life today. We are all bonded by our common problem and our common solution.