Surrender by Lori S. (Omaha, NE)

By the time I made it into the rooms of Cocaine Anonymous, I was willing to do just about anything to put that crack pipe down. My life was truly on the line. Too many brushes with death and realizing, as I smoked in a hospital bathroom with a IV stuck on my arm, that I had reached my “bottom”. I was an addict.

When I attended my first meeting I was stunned. Here were people talking openly about cocaine and they were talking about me. Seeing how happy they were was something I wanted more than anything else in the world.

I listened as they said that they do it ‘One Day At A Time’. They told me to get a sponsor and start working the program.

I wasted no time.

Today I don’t try to run the show, I surrender that to my higher power. I believe that my higher power, whom I choose to call GOD, has a plan for me. I work with others and go to as many meetings as I can. They keep me grounded and I love the hope they give. I never had any hope while out there in the madness. I am a miracle and I am so grateful. They told me to just ‘Keep Coming Back… It Works’, but only if I work it, and I do.

Fear, anger and resentments have been changed to love, patience and tolerance for me now, and today I would not change a single thing in my life except that I didn’t find this program sooner.

I keep my past “tapes” right by me at all times, they remind me of where this disease can take me. And that if I don’t take that first hit, then I don’t have to worry about anything. That is the answer for me.

Thank you C.A. and the ones here in the Fellowship who have given me their experience, strength and hope. But most of all, I thank my higher power everyday for giving me just one more 24 hours.