I am truly grateful today when I think about being an addict. I must thank my Higher Power, whom I call God, as well as sponsorship and the strong fellowship of C.A., and the 12 Step Principles.
I had been beaten down many years before I truly made an honest effort to seek help. I understand today just how deadly my pride and fear can rule me. They both wouldn’t allow me to ask for help even though I was long over due for the needed assistance that I found in the 12 Steps of recovery.
The Big Book directed me to a power greater than myself. It opened me up to take an honest look at the inside of myself, a place I had not gone before completely.
I must admit I felt much pain in discovering just who I was for real and not what I pretended to be for so long, strange as it may seem. I found relief in every discovery I made of myself. As I understand it today, it’s just another phase of my development as I journey to know myself. Fear no longer robs me, and today I’ve some leveling of my pride.
As a direct result of applying the 12 Steps in my life today, I know that peace is far greater than any lump sum of money one could possibly give me. I’m easy in my skin today, and yet I know that there is still plenty of work yet to be done with me. I’m not perfect, and it’s not about that for this addict, it’s about learning to live life on life’s terms and not mine. It’s about looking those ugly character defects in the face and working to delete them from my personality and life. On my own I can’t do this, but with my Higher Power (God), I can. I know through my own attempts that self can’t overcome self.
Today I know where the power is and I continue to stay plugged into it. Through work and self sacrifice for others and being committed to my recovery. I’ll remain joyous, happy and free.
So I say if you’re new in this process, stay around to see your life transform to a better you. Remember, it works when you work it. I must work to keep what I have attained. Peace and power I choose today.