First off I’d like to say, that it’s by the Grace of God my Higher Power that I’m able to share my experience, strength and hope with you today. For if it weren’t for His Grace I wouldn’t be here to share.
I can still remember my last bout with cocaine. Oh, by the way, my name is John S. and I am and always will be a Cocaine Addict. However I’m grateful to say that I’ve been clean for a few 24 hours. My last bout occurred August 21, some years ago. I remember telling my boss, who also happened to be a good friend from high school, that I’d be in to work over-time, because I needed cash. I can recall how subtle the urge was before my car ended up in front of the dope man’s house at 9:00 in the morning. How long and fast the day and night went after I got started doing what I do. Paid Friday morning, broke Friday night. About that time, you know the horsemen were beating down. I called my boss and told him, once again, that I can’t make it in. But this time there was a difference; I was humble enough to tell him the truth. I needed help. I have a cocaine problem. Yes, a moment of clarity. Or it could have been that I was blitzed and couldn’t think of a lie. All I know is; That and a couple of other things that happened that one long day and night, ran me back in the C.A. rooms. But of course I had to stop by Detox again first, and even that was different because I went for myself.
It was only after I returned to the rooms that I knew how much I wanted sobriety. I’ve always needed it, but I wanted it now. So now I attend meetings regularly. I do the service work. I take suggestions. I got a sponsor. I do just what the book says. I trust God, clean house, and help others. And it seems that by doing so, my life has gotten better. See I no longer just read the 12 Steps… I live the 12 Steps. Today the Principles aren’t just words, they’re my actions.
Just think, out of all the times I went in and out of the doors of C.A., that one long day and night was exactly what I needed to want what I have now. I’ll tell you… that was not even the worse time I had out there. But by God’s Grace, it was the last day… I pray.
All I ever wanted was to be Happy, Joyous and Free, to find some Peace and Serenity. I finally got it, and I found it in the rooms of Cocaine Anonymous. Miracles DO happen.